the weekending

Saturday marked my 37th year of wondering this earth. I spent it quietly with just my little family. Well excluding the eldest who wrapped up his tent on Thursday and made his way out to White Mountain Music Festival. And not including the morning where we made our way out to celebrate Garren's friends birthday. But I had the rest of the day with my little crew to celebrate quietly.

There was no cleaning up or making beds or cooking. The boys packed the dishwasher and Rob cooked our meal outdoors on the braai which we served with fresh salad and finished off with toasted marshmallows. It was hot.. so unseasonably hot... that there was also swimming for just the boys, that is, as I am still all punctured up. They keep teasing that If I had to climb in with them I would fill up like a ball and they would bounce me around.

And then Sunday..... well that was just as lazy.... because it was still my birthday weekend, you  see. Left overs and more pool time and completing the last projects for the school term.

Let's hope the heat and the laziness that has taken over me will slowly melt away before the week is in  full swing......

Love
Angie xxx

catching up.... hello spring!

It's as if someone has left the oven door open and all that heat is circulating all through our homestead and comatoseing (is that a word? spellcheck doesn't seem to agree) all the humans and fur children.
Happy Spring dear family and friends.

Well I am up and about! The past week has sped by so very quickly while I have been trying to get a handle on life again. Back to work, back to the fast paced demands that keep me busy outside of our home. I can't say that I have got my finger on the pulse just yet. And of course there have been days this week where I have felt that I will never catch up. Ditching the 9 to 5 job world has never been more appealing as it has this last week.

Yesterday our country celebrated Heritage Day and as true hearted South Africans we of course participated in Braai Day. It was also the first day since the op that I got to meander around the garden and catch up with my poor neglected chooks, check on growings in our veggie garden and relax with little Lilly (our tortoise) in the shade of the Pine trees. The boys got their first swim in for the season too. And, my first batch of Goat's Milk, Honey and Chamomile soap got wrapped and packed for my lovely friends who placed orders.

It's the new season.. Its the time of balance and awakenings.. I for one will be taking full advantage of it all.

Love
Angie xxx

today

Last night it rained. I love the sound of rumblings from the skies and as the rain drops fall on our roof I always get the feeling that all is being cleansed. It is soothing… comforting. 

The week has passed by and all I have had strength for was watching series. Game of Thrones and the beginning of Vikings which I have so enjoyed. (please forgive my heathen-born heart). But it’s time to start again.

Today I have plans. Plans to walk a little, to add a few more rows to my knit projects. To get out of my pjs and into something that feels more like I am living. I may, a little later in the day, make my way into the kitchen and try my hand at making fudge in the slow cooker. That really can’t be strenuous, can it? Adding all the ingredients and letting it all do its own thing. I’m sure the boys will be happier for it too.

Love 

Angie xxx

joining ginny

bits ‘n pieces left behind

It feels like I have been gone from my blog world forever. I must say it is lovely to be back in the land of the living.

It has been a week of drifting in and out of the sleepy unconsciousness and then fleeting moments of catching up with the boys. I suppose the after affects of post surgery and pain meds will do that to one. Today is the first day I can actually pull myself up without having to croak for someone to help me out of bed and steady me to the loo.

So then, the story behind what was in essence supposed to be a simple 45 minute surgical procedure - with the hopes of finding what we all assumed would result in the concluded diagnosis as Endometriosis…. well now… lets just say ended up being 3 hours of absolute chaos. I obviously was totally unaware, at the time, of all of this but when listening to Rob rehash the story it sounded like my poor fella went through something close to hell?

One would presume that when “professional’’ doctors diagnose you and you trust their word that all should be fine, right? They are here to help you, and where they can - medically fix you? I'm sure there is an oath they take somewhere before they become all professional and can legal write the “Dr.” before their name??

This all started in the beginning of the year when Rob and I found out we were pregnant, not just with one baby but two! I remember that time to be one of much excitement. Especially when we had gotten over the shock of carrying twins. Our fault could have been that we moved from one gynae to another for medical aid and financial reasons. But surely we should not have to blame ourselves for moving from one doctor to another. I also preferred to have a woman gynae rather than a man for my own personal reasons. Well, what a huge mistake. By the end of March we had miscarried and in April advised that it would be best to move the healing process along by having the foetuses surgically removed. This is not uncommon and all would be well and we could start fresh.

Since the procedure I never restarted my menses and as each month passed where my monthly visit would have been there was only debilitating cramps. I was shunted from one doctor to another in the hopes that there would be answers – surely this was not normal. But, all the answers we would get were, “it takes time for your body to heal”. Surely healing would mean that you were getting better? Not finding every month being a downward uncontrollable spiral and eventually being incapable of moving and becoming one with your bed so as to deal with the pain. How could this be normal?
 

Last week was the worst of all the months before…
 

Sometimes one has to step back and forget what the prescribed medical covers and look beyond. And with tail between my legs and limp from the pain went back to my original doctors. I would like to say I may have gotten to the right doctor just in the nick of time, but, sadly I cant - just yet. I am now one fallopian tube short and there are still parts of my uterus that are in question. When they initially removed our foetuses (which they do with forceps-like-gadgets) my right fallopian tube was pulled inside out resulting (over the months) in it growing back into my uterus wall. When I was supposed to be having my monthly menses instead of bleeding out the “normal” way it was running into my stomach. Not very pretty at all but that's how it went.

And now here we are. Me in bed healing up from another surgery and a presumed one again in a months time. Me deep in thought.. could this have been prevented? And if so how could this have been prevented? Is there a fault here.. is there someone to blame? I am still reeling and I think I may be mourning? I'm not too sure yet….

But what I do know is that Rob and our gynae are furious and would prefer I don't become another statistic… because in the end that's exactly what will happen.

To all our dearest friends and beloved family thank you all for the healing vibes sent our way and for all patience as we slowly get our heads around the whole ordeal.

Love
Angie xxx

the apron, the hat and the chef

 

There has been much anticipation and plenty of excitement through the week as we have been preparing for today. Today, at Garren's school, is Spring Day and Literacy Day all rolled into one. The theme for the day was The Gingerbread Boy with all the little junior primary boys dressing up as chefs and presenting the class with their chosen veggie and fruit animals.

We have been researching and planning and plotting and scheming the whole week long. Starting on Sunday with the apron, after attempting one for the kitchen with the left over material from our new curtains, G decided that a homemade-by-Mum-apron would be preferred. We all know by now the special friendship I have with my sewing machine - right? Then Monday through Wednesday googling all kinds of veg and fruit animals. All the preparing would be done at home and then dismantled, packed and then reassembled again at school for his class. I think he chose well. I've always been very fond of ducks and often dream that there are a couple in the coop with my chooks and maybe even a few goats and.... (this is where Rob steps in and rudely awakens me!).... ok moving on...!

Oh and the hat... white would be just too plain boring now wouldn't it?


Love
Angie xxx

19 years on

Yesterday was Tristan's 19 birthday. 19......... where oh where have all those 19 years gone I asked myself that morning as I was busying myself with my early morning chores before having to rudely awaken the younger two boys for school.

I thought back to that special day in 1996 when I was a few days from turning 18 myself. The thoughts and feelings on being a very young Mom and the fears of not being able to be a "proper-mom". So many expectations of myself and those that others expected from me.... All of those fears seemed  like a surreal life time ago. Yet, here we are, and that little bundle born on the first day of spring is now a mature and handsome young man.

I posted a photo on my facebook profile with the description "So proud to call myself Mom to this young man." simple and short. But, really, in truth there is so much more.

All those hugs where my arms wrapped around his whole body as a baby and then around his shoulders as a child have now turned. This child of mine is now a young man and where my hugs once lovingly cocooned him, his now engulf me.

I am proud, I am so very blessed.
Happy birthday to my T.

Love
Angie xxx




join us every sunday for our hen house hop link-up

Happy Birthday To T

Happy 19th Birthday To Tristan